OH, MY ACHING KNEE HODGEPODGE!

Can you believe that Spring is just over a week away?  I can't wait for the flowers to bloom.

1. What's the first image that comes to mind when you hear the word 'spring'? Which phrase best describes the season of spring where you live right now (today)-sprung! almost there, or still waiting?

The first image that comes to mind are all the clean cars people are driving around. The automatic car washes are full with car after car going through getting all the sand and salt off the cars.
The phrase that best describes the season around here is "Almost Here."  We still have lots of snow on the ground but the air is warmer and there are even spots of brown here and there.  The septic tank is still covered in snow however.
  

2. Bed, couch, stapler, garage door, computer mouse, recliner, flashlight, door knob...which household item containing springs most needs replacing in your home? Speaking of springs...did you ever own a Slinky?

I did own a slinky and loved it.  As for something with springs that needs replacing....I would have to say that there is nothing that is in need of replacing.

3. March is Women's History Month. Share a favorite quote by a woman.

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” - Maya Angelou

4. What's a question that looms large in your mind right now?

When will my knee be fixed?

5. Are you a sugar freak? By that I mean how much do you love sugar? With all the bad press sugar gets these days, have you made any efforts to reduce the amount of sugar you consume?

I'm not a huge fan of sugar. I drink my tea and coffee without it, but I do like the occasional cream horn or dish of ice cream.  So I do try to limit my sugar but I will give in once in a while.

6. Would you rather have less work to do or more work you enjoy doing?

I would rather have more work that I enjoy doing.  I don't mind working and having something to do that I enjoy doing makes the day go by faster and I feel like I'm helping someone. Plus, it's not work, if I love doing it.

7. Ever been to Texas? Of the top ten Texas tourist attractions which would you most like to see-The Alamo, The San Antonio River Walk, The State Capital, Dallas World Aquarium, Padre Island National Seashore, Houston Space Center, Schlitterbahn Waterpark in New Braunfels, Six Flags Fiesta Texas,  Moody Gardens, or Galveston Island?

I have only driven through Texas but if I were to visit, I would love to see the Houston Space Center.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

I mentioned in # 4 wondering when my knee would be fixed.  It turns out that I have a tore Meniscus in my left knee and today I saw the orthopaedic doctor.  He agrees that my knee needs to be fixed and has agreed to do the surgery but first he wants to consult with both of my oncologists.  The one here locally and the one up in Lebanon.  The orthopaedic doctor has some questions about my cancer and my meds so it may be a few months before I have the surgery but finally, a doctor who agrees that I need this thing fixed.  

Spring, Oh Glorious Spring!

It has been quite of week up here in ther right hand corner of the USA.
More snow (it's snowing while I type this) and more cold weather means out pellet stove is working 24/7 to keep me warm and I am very tired of wearing layers of clothing.  So Spring had better be getting here soon and it will be Glorious!!

I know that you are waiting for the report from the transplant doctor.  We had a beautiful day to drive up north to the Hospital.  The 1 1/2 hour drive was just lovely.  A nurse took several tubes of blood and then we hung around to see the doctor.

He told us that my proteins were climbing and that was not good.  It looked like the ratio of cancer drugs to normal cells was 340/1.  My heart sunk.  He was going to do a test where each protein was counted by hand  to see which protein was off.  If it was only 1 protein, then we perhaps could change drugs and hit that one protein with a different chemo protocol and force it back to where it belongs.

If several proteins were out of wack, then he would want a bone marrow biopsy to see how much of my blood was cancerous.  If that was between 40-50% then I get moved up the transplant list and start preparinging for that procedure.  All I could think of was that my calendar was too full and that I didn't have time for this.  The transplant requires me to stay up in the hospital for several weeks in isolation while my body heals.  I don't want to do that!!

We agreed that we surely needed more tests to see what was going on.  We left the hosptial discouraged and depressed. One thing we both agreed on was to let our prayer warriors know what was going on and to ask them to pray.  So once we got home and told our daughter the news, we got our prayers warriors praying.

One told me that I was a miracle waiting to happen.  Another told us that the test done down here would be wrong.  As it turned out, they were both right.

Six days went by before we got the results of the latest test.  Sure enough, he felt that since the test down here was calulated by a machine, the machine was wrong and the ratio is NOT 340/1 by in fact is 27/1.  The bone marrow biopsy is off, and the stem cell transplant is off, well for at least 2 months.  We head up there again at the end of April and retest.

So for now, we change nothing, we continue with our lives and love each other and those around us.  We laugh and smile and work and live.  We are grateful to all who have prayed for us, and held us up before God.  We are even more greatful that God granted the desire of my heart to stay outside of the hospital for a bit longer.

So after a few short wild weeks, we are relaxing while it snows outside again.

Hello World!!

 

Yes, I'm alive! No I'm not sick. Thanks for asking.  

The things I love to do all day now take all day to do because my energy level is still low. We are finally declairing "Snow Out" as the last of it has melted!! Now the clean up begins.
The backyard wasn't too bad but, oh my, the front yard was a mess.  I got August' agility equipment up and he is running and jumping like mad.  

Both dogs hang out with me while I clean up the front yard. One watches me and one watches the road.  Can you guess who is doing which? 

Yup, August watches the road.

Becke watches me.

So once I get home, it's feed the dogs, putter around the house for a bit because if I sit down at all, I fall asleep on the couch.  On the weekends, I work on the yard and then stop once I am tired. I curl up on the couch to watch a movie and wake up 3 hours later. There are just not enough hours in the day.  I remember working in the yard all day and getting it all done in one day. Now I work till I'm tired and have to go back the next day (and the day after that) to get it all done.  I think the yard got bigger!

I love being outside in the warmth and feel the grass, dirt, and mulch under my feet.  I love the heat bearing down on my fuzzy head.  I look like a Chia Pet in the first few days of watering it.  I wish my hair grew as fast as a Chia Pet but it's not. OH WELL!  I still love feeling the heat on my head.

There was a nasty bug going around the office and church and just about everywhere and I didn't get it!! My new immune system seems to be working really good!  I sleep really well and I wake up feeling strong but oh how I wish I could move faster and get more done in one day.  I know Baby steps.


Monday night we got to play with our granddaughters while their parents were working. They work split shifts so that someone is home with them but every so often one is starting at 3pm and other doesn't get out until 5:30pm so we get to have the girls for that "between time".  It's been way too long since that has happened.  What fun to play outside with them!  I'm going to teach them to garden, then they can teach their parents!  What fun it is to dig in the dirt with kids.

So thank you for checking, and even for worrying but I'm good. Back to the dirt.....

More on What to do When Your Friend has Cancer

So your friend has cancer. You and they had a conversation and you have a feeling of just how well they are doing.  Now what?

Many times you want to help but don’t know how.  Here is a list of things you can do for them.

1.       If you pray, then pray for them. Pray for a cure. Pray for strength to get through treatment. Pray for good weather to travel to doctor’s appointments.  Pray for the caregiver.  Tell them you are praying and for what you are praying for.

2.       Call or email them every few weeks if you haven’t see them at church or work. Ask them how they are doing today.

3.       Do you sew, knit, or crochet? Then make them a hat, scarf, hand warmers, or socks to stay warm.  Can you cut with scissors?  Then take 2 pieces of fabric, each 1 yard long.  Place them back sides together and cut all the way around them about 2 inches deep and 1 inch apart, then tie the pieces together.  Give that to your friend to cover themselves with. Use fleece or flannel for warmth. What other crafts can you share with them?

4.       Can you cook? Make them some Mac and cheese or a cream based soup. Both go down easily and make for a nice meal when one is too tired to cook for themselves. Go easy on the spices!

5.       Do you go to church or other functions at the same time, sit near them and be a "wall" to protect those who may be sick from getting too close.  Colds can become very serious very fast and child- hood diseases (chicken pox and measles) can land them in the hospital.

6.       Go on Pinterest and collect all sorts of funny and inspirational sayings. Copy and paste them on black sheets, print them out and give it to them.  A great funny reminder to brighten up their day.

7.       Tell them jokes, email them jokes, and tell them funny, even embarrassing stories from your own life.  A good belly laugh will go a long way.

8.       Go with them to pick out their wig, be honest and help them find one that makes them feel comfortable.

9.       Cleaning for a Reason is a nonprofit organization partnering with maid services to offer free professionals house cleanings to improve the lives of women undergoing cancer treatment. Send them some information to see if they can get help with house work while they are having treatment.  There are limitations but if you live in a large city, it may be just right for your friend. 

Here are a few things you can do that don’t cost a lot, but mean a lot.

1.       A snack size zip lock bag with lip balm, small bottle of hand lotion (Udder cream is wonderful for people with cancer), emery board (their nails break very easily), and some hand candy (ginger, lemon or peppermint) to help with upset stomach from chemo.  Something small to put in their purse to carry around. Give them a new one every month or so.

2.       If you know someone who sews, knits or crochets, maybe ask them to make a hat, scarf, hand warmers, socks or blanket. Make a care package for them. Or buy them, using coupons to save money.

3.       A bottle of hand sanitizer and Clorox wipes on their desk allows them to clean away the germs from the computer; phone, desk, door knobs etc. and the sanitizer will help keep their hands clean.

4.       Buy them some baseball hats.  Wigs are hot and summer is coming, baseball hats are easier to wear.  You can find some that cover more of the head and tops of ears to allow them to feel more comfortable.

5.       TLCdirect.org has some really nice hats that don’t cost a lot. These hats are made for people with cancer.

6. Buy them children tooth brushes.  Doctors tell them to use those as they are more gentle on the gums which bleed easily.  Buy super heroes like the Hulk, Superman and Captain American as well as others.  One of the Princesses, Snow White, Ariel, Merida and others to help her feel pretty. Since they need to change the brush every month, buy lots! Good thing they are cheap!  Gentle tooth paste and mouth wash as well, Biotine works very well also. 

And by all means, take care of yourself because if you are sick, you too need to stay away from your friend. So eat right, take your vitamins and care for yourself, so that you can care for others.  

What Do You Say to Someone with Cancer

Last week I wrote a bit more on what NOT to say so this week I want to write about what to say instead.

When someone first got the news that they have cancer, there is silence for a bit as the words sink in.  Some people start to cry, other hold the hand of the person that is there with them and many look at the doctor and say “What?”  The doctor then repeats “You have cancer”. They will add what kind of cancer “You have Breast Cancer, or you have Multiple Myeloma Cancer.”  But first there is silence. 

 So Be Silent.

1.       Be silent, look at your friend and be still for a few seconds.  Then say something like “I’m so very sorry”.  Give them a hug and if you are close enough cry together.

2.       It’s OK to ask “How did they find it?” or “I’m sorry, I’ve never heard of that cancer, where is it?”

3.       It’s OK to ask “I’ve never heard of that cancer, can you tell me more about it?”

4.       It’s OK to ask “When did you find out?” Some people wait a long time to let the cat out of the bag as it were.  If they don’t look or act sick, you might never have known.

5.       It’s OK to ask “Have you met your Oncologist yet and what was your first impression?”

6.       It’s Ok to ask “What's your a plan of attack?”

7.        It’s OK to ask “While on treatment, what foods should you not eat or what foods can you have to help boost your immune system?”

8.       It’s OK to ask “You have someone going with you to the doctor’s, right?”

9.       It’s OK to ask “Did you tell your boss and are they willing to help you?”

10.   It’s OK to ask “Did they warn you of any side effects?”

11. It's OK to ask "How are you doing today?"

See, what’s happening here? You don’t make any judgments about them or the type of cancer they have.  You don’t comment on how they look right now. Remember, to the person with cancer, it’s all bad news. You don’t tell those stories of others with cancer, you listen to their story.   You ask questions, let them answer.  You get a feel for how they are doing, how scared they are. You get a feel for how much they know now and how much they don’t know yet. You get a feel for how much they like their team of doctors or not. You be a friend. 

Thursday, I’ll have a list of ways you can help your friend – many are free!!

More of what NOT to say to someone with Cancer

On March 18th, I wrote about some of the things that people have said to me.  I will write about what you can say to people with cancer,  but before that, here are a few more of the things people have really said to me.  

Really, I can't make this up.

1. "It could be worst you know". 
   "Yup sure do, I could already be dead." was my real answer. I was not in a good mood that day.  

2. "I'm sure it's fine/I'm sure it's nothing".
     Cancer is something not nothing, Cancer is scary, frightening and big, don't try to make           Cancer nothing just because you feel uncomfortable.  They feel uncomfortable as well.

3. "I know exactly how you feel."  
     Unless you have my type of cancer you don't know how I feel. Don't compare my cancer to your marriage problem or work problem.  They are not the same. I made some excuse to walk away.  

4. "Can I see your bald head?"
      "NO!" is what I say but one day I will add "I'm not a circus side show."  Just not sure   when, so be careful folks. You've been warned!!

5.  "Congratulation you're in remission and all done, you can stop worrying now."  Remission means that I'm responding to the treatment, not that I'm cured.  Yes, I'm happy that I'm responding to treatment but it also means every month I have to test to make sure I'm still in remission.  Some day I will not be in remission.  It also means I will have to live with this. You see my cancer has no cure.  The best we can do is stay in remission for as long as possible. In the meantime, I take drugs to keep me in remission  every day.  When I am no longer in remission, there are options.  But a cure is not one of them at this time.

6.  And the one statement that made me tilt my head and answer "Really?"
  "WOW! I'm gonna miss you."  I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet so how about we just enjoy our time together so you will have something to miss me over!!

Next week I'll write a few things that you can say and things you can do to help your friend.  But for now, Everything that you think need not be said - Silence is Golden!!  

Have a Blessed Day Everyone

What NOT to say to someone with Cancer

I lost a friend this past weekend to cancer.  He had Leukemia.  He found out after I found out about my cancer and went into remission before I did. But he was not a candidate for Stem Cell Harvesting or a candidate for a Bone Marrow Transplant from a donor.  He was told in December that he was out of options and he was out of remission.  We would sit together on Sunday and share a blanket to stay warm.  We called each other from time to time to check in and we went to the same Norris Cotton building for treatments so we saw each other there as well, each of us having chemo. He wished me well as I was getting ready for my Harvesting. Cancer patients share a special bond. I know we did!

I remember talking to him about what others say to us without a clue as to how it sounds.  Some were funny while others sounded not so much.

Here is a partial list of what we have been told or asked: Please don't say these things to other cancer patients...

1. "WOW you don't look sick!"  I'm glad that I don't look sick so thank you but one day someone is going to tell me this and I will just loose it and say: "Thank you, we do make the best looking corpse you know."

2. "I've never heard of that cancer, is it one of the bad ones?"  Is there a good one?  For the person who was just told they have cancer, it's bad!  It's the worst kind of bad!  Yes, all cancer is bad!

3. "My (Grandfather, Aunt, Sister,___(fill in the blank) died from that."  Unless the story has a happy ending, don't start with this.  I've been thinking a lot about death. I really don't want to hear your death story thank you.

4. "How long do you have?" I've actually turned over my foot and looked at the bottom of it and said "No expiration date there, don't know."

5. "You're lucky, your cancer will not leave a scar" Well not one that you will see on the outside, but there are plenty on the inside.

6. "I thought Chemo was suppose to help you lose weight."  I did answer this one with "Thanks for letting me know that, I'll be sure to tell my doctor that his chemo isn't helping me lose weight."

7. "Better you than me, I couldn't handle this. You are such an inspiration" I said "Thanks, glad I could help."  I've never so admired anyone that I was glad for their misfortune because it made me feel better.

So I celebrate my friends finishing the race, his graduation to Heaven where he has a new body, a new life, a new health. He also has no more silly statements or questions to deal with. I know he is laughing over the things we talked about. I also know that I will miss him!